[1] [2] AN Engliſhman indeuouring ſometime to write of our attire, made ſundry plat|formes for his purpoſe, ſuppoſing by ſome of [page 97] them to finde out one ſtedfaſt ground where|on to builde the ſumme of his diſcourſe. But in the ende (like an oratour, long without ex|erciſe) when he ſaw what a difficult péece of worke he had taken in hande, he gaue ſet his traueile, and onelye drue the picture of a naked man, vnto whome he gaue a paire of ſheares in the one hande, and a péece of cloth in the other, in the ende he ſhould ſhape his apparrell after ſuch faſhion as himſelfe liked, ſith he could [...]de no kind of garment that coulde pleaſe him [...]ny whyle togyther, and this he called an Englishemen. Certes thys writer (otherwiſe being a leawde and vngracious prieſt) ſhewed himſelfe herein not to be voyde of iudgement, [...]rewe. [...]rd. ſith the phan|taſticall follye of our nation is ſuch, that no forme of apparrell liketh vs longer then the firſt garment is in the wearing, if it conti|nue ſo long and be not layde aſide, to receyue ſome other trinket newly deuiſed by the ficle headded Taylours, who couet to haue ſeue|rall trickes in cutting, thereby to draw fond cuſtomers to more expence of money. For my part I can tell better howe to inueigh a|gainſt this enormitie, then deſcribe our at|tire: ſithens ſuch is our mutabilitie, that to day there is none to the Spaniſhe guiſe, to morowe the French toyes are moſt fine and delectable, ere long no ſuch apparell as that which is after the high Almaine faſhion, by and by the Turkiſh maner is generally beſt liked of, otherwiſe the Moriſco gownes and the Barbarian ſléeues make ſuch a comelye Veſture, that except it were a dog in a dub|let, you ſhall not ſée anye ſo diſguiſed, as are my coũtry men of england. And as theſe faſhiõs are diuers, ſo likewiſe it is a worlde to ſe the coſtlineſſe and the curioſitie: the ex|ceſſe and the vanitie: the pompe and the bra|uery: the chaunge and the variety: and final|ly the ficleneſſe and the folly that is in all de|grées: inſomuch that nothing is more con|ſtant in england then inconſtancie of attire. Neither cã we be more iuſtly burdened with any reproche, then inordinate behauiour in apparrell, for which moſt nations deride vs, as alſo for that we men doe ſéeme to beſtowe moſt coſt vpon our arſes & much more then vpon all the reſt of our bodies, as women do likewiſe vpon their heads and ſhoulders. In women alſo it is moſt to be lamented, that they doe now farre excéede the lightneſſe of our men (who neuertheleſſe are tranſformed from the cap euen to the very ſhoe) and ſuch ſtaring attire as in time paſt was ſuppoſed méete for none but light houſewiues onely, is now become an habit for chaſt & ſober ma|trones. What ſhould I ſay of their dublets wyth p [...]nd [...]nt c [...]piſes on the breaſt [...] tags and c [...], and [...]ée [...] of ſ [...]dy [...], theyr g [...]g [...]ſoons, couloured [...] their [...], and ſuch lyke, whereby their bodies [...] ther deform [...] then co [...] I haue [...] with ſome of them in London ſo but diſgui|ſed, that it hath paſſed my ſkill to diſcerne whyther they were men or women. Thus it is now come to paſſe, that womẽ are become men, and men turned into monſters: & thoſe g [...] giftes which almightie God hath giuen vnto vs to reléeue our neceſſitie withall, not otherwyſe beſtowed them in all exce [...]e as if we wiſt not otherwiſe howe to conſume and waſt them. I pray God that in this behalfe our ſinne be not lyke vnto that of Sodome and Gomorha, whoſe errors were pride,Ezech. 16. ex|ceſſe of diet, & abuſe of Gods benefits abun|dantly beſtowed vpon them, beſide want of charitie toward the poore, and certaine other pointes which ye Prophet ſhutteth vp in ſci|lence. Certes the commõwealth can not be ſayde to floriſhe where theſe abuſes reigne, but is rather oppreſſed by vnreaſonable ex|actions made vpõ farmers & tenants, wher|with to maintayne the ſame. Neither was it euer meryer with Englande then when an Engliſhmã was knowne by [...]owne cloth, and contented himſelfe with his fine carſie hoſen, and a meane ſlop: his coate, gowne & cloake of browne blew or putre, with ſome pretie furniture of veluet or furre, & a doub|blet of ſadde Tawny, or blacke Veluet, or other comelye Sylke, without ſuch gawriſh coulours as are worne in theſe dayes, & ne|uer brought in but by the conſent of ye french, who thincke thẽſelues the gaieſt men, when they haue moſt diuerſitie, & chaunge of cou|lours about them. I might here name a ſort of hewes deuiſed for the nones, wherewith to pleaſe fantaſticall heades, as gooſeturde gréene, the Deuell in the heade, (I ſhoulde ſay the hedge) and ſuch like, but I paſſe them ouer thincking it ſufficient to haue ſayd thus much of apparell generally, when nothing can particularly be ſpoken of any conſtancie thereof.